This is Afton’s story– a friend and senior at Texas A&M. I definitely can relate to what she has to say. How easy it is for me to look for “next” things to satisfy me (instead of the “now”)– like the completion of a task, a break from busyness, or even a trip away somewhere nice! What is the “next” thing for you?
If I am honest, I don’t love this season of life that I am in right now. I have been finding myself becoming really discontent. Life hasn’t been going in the direction that I want, which flat out hasn’t been very enjoyable. Although, I can flippantly say, “It’s no big deal”– in reality there is a serious heart issue behind all of it.
I find my heart believing things like this: “Once I graduate and get to do what I actually want to do, then life will be good.” Or “Once (fill in the blank) happens then I will finally be happy.” Although some of these things I am looking forward to or desiring are good things, which God created, I have made them ultimate things for happiness in my heart. I am doing what Paul warned the Romans about: “…because they exchanged truth about God for a lie and worshipped and served the creature rather than the Creator.”
Sometimes, I begin to love the things God gives me as opposed to just loving Him. No change in circumstances or fulfilling of my hopes or dreams can make me content. I tend to believe the “next” thing will make me content, but the truth is that my heart is never going to be satisfied by those things. They are not meant to completely satisfy me. The reality (and my experience) is that I am always on the look out for bigger and better things. Once the thing I was hoping for happens, I am not satisfied in that, I want the next thing. It’s a never-ending cycle.
The hope is that God desires to change this in me and to be the one right now who quenches the thirst of my soul, which I continually try to find elsewhere. As this semester has gone on, I have been (slowly) grasping the idea that I have been given everything I need right now in Christ. Because the problem isn’t my circumstances, I have been pushed deeper into knowing and believing that having Christ is better than these other things. God is intimately aware of the things going on in my life. He also cares enough for me to meet me exactly where I am in it. The amazing truth about the Gospel is that I get God! What a gift that is! No matter how far I wander or how many countless times I question God’s goodness, He is a Father full of grace. He loves forgiving me and reminding me that I am His and He is mine. He has promised me that he would be sufficient regardless of everything else going on in my life- good or bad. He is enough. He will sustain. And He will not abandon me. I am so quick to forget these incredible truths. Even though my circumstances might not be what I would choose, I’m learning that Christ is really enough for me– this is the greatest treasure. For this transformation in my heart, I am so grateful.
Hi! My name is Afton Dean and I am a senior Education major at Texas A&M University where I am a member of Pi Beta Phi sorority. I grew up in Midland, Tx and come from a family of Aggies. I am hoping to come back to A&M in the fall to continue to do ministry within the Greek system.